No shame! No shame at all. My brothers and sister, the two little ones in the house, "pee" on themselves. I don't know why they do that, I guess it's because of trauma or maybe even the fact that they are beyond lazy.
- - -
Secret sharing time! I'm not happy to report any of this. I never had any good secrets, hey are there even any good secrets, I probably would know the feeling more if I had my old life back without the best from the east. Here are a few secrets that I have to get off my chest and there very freaky-I do not like.
1. My little brother is really only actually my half brother-my mom had an affair (I believe)
2.1 day, I think my brother tried to touch my sister, me and my brother stopped him (I think...it was long time ago and I was very young-but I think I stopped him.)
3.Down south(USA) when I was about 4-5 years old, I use to get kissed by many boys that were around my age or under, one I think was my brother.
4.Me and my brother made out once, and I almost humped each other I think (I'm not sure, we didn't take our clothes off, just sat on each other and moved around.
5.I use to have "feelings" when I was younger and...I would 'hump' many things, even one time my dog-just once.
6.Once I saw my sister try to hump my brother, but I caught them and almost told my mom on them, but I felt bad and didn't. Because she begged me not to tell.
^I'm very ashamed of myself. For all of these secrets, but I feel very happy for getting them out here, they have been bugging me for a while. I feel like I've sinned...6 times in my life. Possibly more if you add how many times I've done these things. But I've been clean for about 6 years or even 9-I don't know. All I know is that I haven't done any of these things in a while. These secrets are nothing compared to the ones other people hold under their skin-this includes celebrities and even animals. Also, their are brothers and sisters out there that actually do it with their siblings, me and brother were close, but luckily we were very very~ young and didn't know anything or what we were doing.
I hope when it comes to judgment day that god forgives me. But in order for that I must forgive myself,right?
I will. I mean I do forgive myself.
I hope later along the line, everyone forgives me also...
Plus, when I kid of 3,4,5 I felt like a demon spawn, know that I think about it, do you think a demon was controlling me during this time. Each time I think about it, I always get these thoughts, think of things when my father was with us. Each time he was, do you think he was controlling or was his inner me coming out? I think everyone-despite what we know has an inner part of their mothers and fathers-even if we don't want to admit.
Wow, I feel really free now. I want to go outside for sure.
Dusk
Post a Comment